Grieving through the Holidays

“Merry Christmas!” and “Happy Holidays!” often feel like stabs to your heart when you’re grieving the death of a loved one. You’re not celebrating the holidays, you’re surviving. You’re doing your best to endure and get through them.

There is no recipe for how best to make your way through the holidays while you grieve. There is only the way that works best for you. You learn what works best for you by trying things, keeping what works, and dropping what doesn’t.

It helps to make decisions about what you will and will not do. To help you decide, write, actually write, your answers to these three questions:

1.    What remains? What have you done in the past that

       you want to keep doing?

2.    What ends? What will you no longer do either because

       your loved one is not physically present or because it’s

       just too painful?

3.    What new opportunities are on the horizon that you are

       willing to try once? You do not have to do anything you

       don’t want to do.

       When you try something new and it’s not good for you,

       you can walk away anytime. When what you try goes

       well, you can try it again, if you want to.

As you make your way through this holiday season, grieve, feel fully all the emotions you feel, honor the life of your loved one, take good care of yourself, and do your best to create some new good holiday memories.

___________________

When you’re ready to heal your hurts, use your strengths,

make your way to a better place in life, and

fulfill your unique life-affirming desires,

contact meat mark.w.neville@gmail.com

For secure and confidential online therapyconnect with me here.

To stay in touch, connect with me on—

FaceBook:www.facebook.com/MarkWNevilleMDiv

LinkedIn: Mark W Neville

To purchase my book, Re-Visioning Spirit: A Brief Introduction, from Amazon, click here.

To purchase it from Barnes and Noble, click here.

Why Wait Any Longer?

Life Therapy is the informed and skillful art of healing and making your way through life's most difficult challenges, like-

• Death of a loved one
• Divorce or dismissal from work
• Distressed personal and professional relationships
• Dealing with or caring for someone with a chronic disease
• Discovering yourself and your purpose in life

With me as your Life Therapist, you have a safe, caring, and experienced professional who understands and helps.

Why wait any longer?

Benefits of Life Therapy with Me

Mark W. Neville, MDiv

Since August I've participated in many local business networking groups. I also sponsored a local conference.

I've met many wonderful people at these events and engaged in thought-provoking conversations. Those conversations helped think about and articulate seven benefits of engaging in Life Therapy with me.

Here's the latest version. Heart-felt thanks to everyone who talked with me about Life Therapy and helped me identify these seven benefits!

Even more thanks to my clients who teach me so much in our sessions together!

Benefits of Having Me as Your Life Therapist

1.     Time: You do not wait. We meet at our scheduled time. I do not limit our sessions to 7 minutes (average length of physician visit) or 50 minutes (standard length of psychotherapy sessions). I spend 60 to 90 minuteswith you listening and asking questions about what is going on with you and your life, caring for you, and making sure I hear and understand what you’re telling me.

2.     You and Your Whole Life: I do not restrict my clinical assessment to one dimension of your life—physical vs mental health problems, personal vs professional, individual vs relationships, etc. Since the challenges you face affect you and every dimension of your life, together we attend to your whole life.

3.     Description, no Diagnosis: I do not diagnose you with a mental disorder and attach an ICD 10 code to your name that becomes a part of your permanent medical record. Rather than diagnosing, I work with you to accurately describethe challenges you’re dealing with in your life right now.

4.     Circumstances of Life, not Symptoms: I do not treat symptoms. Your symptoms are not the problem. They are your friends. Stress, pain, depression, anxiety, grief, shame, guilt, relationship problems, and unhappiness are usually, not always, but usually appropriate, normal, natural, healthy responses to the circumstances of your life. They are not primarily medical or mental health problems. Your symptoms are alarms indicating that serious difficulties are challenging your life. Together we attend to your life and circumstances, help you heal, gain insight, and identify how to get to a better place in life. I help encourage, equip, and empower you to make your way that better place. 

5.     Your Primary Health Care Provider: I am not your primary healthcare provider. You are. It’s your health. It’s your life. You are responsible for your life and health. I don’t tell you what to do and expect you to follow my orders. I educate you, explore options, and help you make informed decisions about what you’re going to do to heal and make your way to a better place in life. 

6.     Customized Care, not Conformity to a Protocol: I do not make recommendations based on protocols for treating the majority of people who have the symptoms you have. You’re a unique individual, living a unique life. You are a case of one.The recommendations I make emerge from our conversations about what you’re experiencing, your circumstances, and what you want for yourself. Your care must fit you rather than have you conform to protocols based on “most people” and averages. 

7.     Referrals to Other Providers and Ending Therapy: I know the scope of my practice and limits and work within them. When I think you need medical therapy, psychotherapy, or some other therapy that I do not provide, I tell you and refer you to a recommended provider. When I believe you’re ready to move forward on your own, without me, I tell you. We plan your discharge. I remain available to you as needed.