Friday, August 31, 2018
Wednesday, August 29, 2018
Tuesday, August 28, 2018
Grief in Our Personal and Professional Lives: An Interview
I talked about grief and how it affects our professional as well as our private lives.
Here's a link to the recording: Guest-Mark W. Neville-Life Therapist-and Grief Specialist
Monday, August 20, 2018
Do This One Task to Find Yourself
If you want to find yourself, do this one thing: write your life-story.
You don't have to be a great writer. You don’t have to be a good writer. You’re writing for yourself, no one else. You’re writing to find yourself. If you decide to share your story with others later, you have that option.
You don't have to go into great detail. Keep it simple at first. Record the most memorable events in the following five time periods of your life:
Birth to 12 years old (Childhood)
13 to 21 years old (Adolescence)
21 to 40 years old (Young Adulthood)
40 to 65 years old (Mature Adulthood)
65 years old to Present (Senior Adulthood)
For each of the five time-periods of your life, answer the following questions:
Where did you live?
Who were the main characters in your life?
Who was for you? Who was against you?
What were the defining events?
Which events affirmed your life? Which events denied your life?
After you write your life-story, reflect on it. How have the defining events affected your life? Do any patterns emerge?
Now, understand that your “self” (who you are) is not a static psychological construct hidden in your mind that you turn inward to find. Neither is your “self” a “higher” metaphysical being that you embody as a human being.
You are a living human being. You are constantly changing and developing through your life-story.
You are your life-story. You are what has been done to you and what you have done up to this moment in your life-time.
You have improvised your life-story since your birth. You have done your best, given what you knew at the time. So, has everyone else.
You were who you were in each improvised moment of your life because of everything that preceded each moment. You are who you are now because of everything that preceded this moment.
Everything means everything.Everything that happened prior to this moment has influenced your life-story, not just what has been done to you personally and what you personally have done.
Everything since things began happening has influenced you.
Everything.
And everything you do influences everything else. Everything.
You are responsible to everything that has been done to you. You are responsible for everything you have done.
Responsible means response-able. You are able. You have ability. You have the power to respond.
You have the ability and power to respond to everything that happens to you.
You have the ability and power to respond for everything you personally do.
You also have the ability and power to initiate your own actions and influence others.
You either act from or abdicate your ability and power to respond.
Next, understand this: you are creating your “self” as you go.
Who are you becoming? Who do you want to become? What are you doing to become who you want to become?
What are you improvising your way toward?
Finally, know this: the more you find about your life-story the more you find your “self.” Your life-story is your “self.”
Own your story.
Sunday, August 19, 2018
Do This One Thing and Live Well...
A good life is one well-lived.
You live well when you engage in fulfilling the life-affirming desires of your heart.
This is your purpose: put forth the life-affirming desires of your heart. Realize them.
You must do that. You must realize them for yourself and everyone else. We all need you to do that.
Your heart’s life-affirming desires are unique to you. They’re yours, no one else’s. Only you can fulfill them.
When you realize your heart’s life-affirming desires, you put forth into this world what only you can put forth. You do your part and fulfill your role. You reach your destiny. You satisfy your desire and everyone else’s. You enrich the whole world.
If you do not realize your heart’s desire, you fail to do your part. You fail to do the one thing you’re here to do. You fall short of your destiny. You disappoint yourself and everyone else. You lose. We all lose.
Know the life-affirming desires of your heart. Know what you must do before you die.
And do it. Let nothing stop you.
When you’re ready to heal your hurts, use your strengths,
make your way to a better place in life, and
fulfill your unique life-affirming desires,
contact me at mark.w.neville@gmail.com
To stay in touch, connect with me on—
FaceBook:www.facebook.com/MarkWNevilleMDiv
LinkedIn: Mark W Neville
To purchase my book, Re-Visioning Spirit: A Brief Introduction, from Amazon, click here.
To purchase it from Barnes and Noble, click here.
Friday, August 17, 2018
Two Basic Modes of Living and Working
There are two basic modes of living and working in this world:
For it
Against it
The “For It” Mode
Those for living in this world, affirm the value of this world and their life in it. They engage in their own well-being as well as the well-being of others and the world as a whole.
They accept the world as it is and their life in it. They are in and of the world. It’s their home. They are human, of the humus, the earth. They are terrestrials.
They love this world and their life in it. They live in harmony with the world as it is. They take good care of themselves and the world. They enjoy, nurture, nourish, and affirm themselves and others.
They support the ongoing existence of the world and transform themselves and the world for the better.
They are well-fitted to life in this world. They weren’t born well-fitted; they were formed to be well-fitted by their elders and others who influenced them.
The “Against It” Mode
Those against living in this world, deny the value of this world and their life in it. They engage in harming themselves, others, and the world as a whole.
They disparage the world as it is and their life in it. They are in but not of the world. It’s not their home. They are not human. They are spiritual beings having a human experience. They are celestials; either images of a god, vessels containing an inner spark of a god, or manifestations of a god. They’re extraterrestrials.
They despise and endure this world and their life in it. They live in discord with the world as it is. They neglect themselves and the world.
They deny themselves with isolation from others, celibacy, childlessness, fasting, poverty, begging, obedience, servitude, sleeplessness, prayer, and voluntary suffering. In their minds, they escape and transcend this world.
They look forward to the end of the world and their ascension out of it back to their true home above.
They are ill-fitted to life in this world. They weren’t born ill-fitted; they were formed to be ill-fitted by their elders and others who influenced them.
Neither Mode is Absolute
While one of the two modes tends to be our primary mode, few, if any, of us stay in one mode 100% of our life-time. We’re inconsistent. We mix the modes and shift back and forth between them throughout our life-time.
Sometimes our actions are in the “for it” mode. Sometimes they’re in the “against it” mode. Sometimes our actions are both.
What matters is which mode we’re in most of the time.
Wednesday, August 15, 2018
How to Hear Your Heart's Desires...
It’s not easy to hear the call
of your heart’s desires. Only with great intent and
effort can you begin to hear.
Cross your hands over your breast bone.
Behind it is your heart. Not your physical heart,
the core of your being is there.
This is your spirit’s home.
Focus your mind’s attention there.
Breathing in smile into your heart;
breathing out smile out from your heart.
Become smiling breath breathing in and out.
As smiling breath, listen with your mind’s ear to
the desires of your heart, your core.
Keep listening until you hear.
Use your mind to verbalize your heart’s desires
and your hands to write them.
Once you know the life-affirming desires
of your heart, invest your whole being in fulfilling them.
Let nothing, absolutely nothing stop you.
Monday, August 13, 2018
Swimming in an Ocean of Noise...
You swim in an ocean of noise that
drowns your mind’s awareness of
your heart’s desires and paralyzes
your action to fulfill them.
The noise isn’t going away.
Your paralysis might.
Take one small
step today to...
Fulfill your heart's desire.
Sunday, August 12, 2018
Your Time is Running Out..
Only with great intent and effort
do you liberate yourself from your
captors (internal and external),
flee, overcome all the challenges,
fulfill your heart’s desires, and
become your music.
Why wait?
You have no time
to waste.
Saturday, August 11, 2018
What Your Dreams Really Are...
Do you know what the word “dream” really means? It’s an Old English word.
It means only "joy, mirth, noisy merriment," also "music." It doesn’t mean “a sleeping vision” at all. Linguistic experts don’t know how its meaning changed to a sleeping vision.
I believe it might be because our joy, mirth, and noisy merriment, our music is only a sleeping vision now. It’s not awakened. It’s not a realized vision.
Your dream is your joy. It’s a heightened, altered state of mirth you cannot contain. It fills you so much that it compels you to vent it.
Your joy comes out as noisy merriment: loud hooting and laughing, shouting, jumping, arm waving in broad gestures, dancing, and song singing. Your dream is your music. It’s the music you make for the world.
You weave your dream into the woof and warp of the world and contribute your part to its grand symphony. But, only when your dream is your joy, mirth, and noisy merriment.
Know your dream and get busy realizing it with noisy merriment.
Friday, August 3, 2018
FAQs about Life Therapy, Part 3 of 3
Will Life Therapy Help Me Find Myself?
No and yes. In Life Therapy, you have no self to find. Your self is not a mysterious object inside or outside you that you look for and find. Rather you create your self as you live. Your self is a living, developing story. It’s your life-story. You are constantly becoming you.
How Does Life Therapy Begin?
It begins by contacting me for either a free initial consultation or to schedule an initial appointment.
The purpose of the free initial consult is to determine if we are a good fit for each other. Successful therapy work depends on us being a good fit.
If we’re not, I’ll do all I can to help you find someone who is.
The purpose of your first session is for us to attend to your most urgent concern and begin taking good care of you. We also complete initial paper work.
After Life Therapy Begins, What are Sessions Like?
In each follow-up session, we review your life since your previous session and discuss how you are doing and how to make your way forward to a better place in life.
Between sessions, you have homework—knowledge to gain and skills to practice.
I am available between sessions for support and collaboration.
How Does Life Therapy End?
Life Therapy ends when we agree that you have made your way to a better place in life and are able to move forward on your own.
Can I Resume Life Therapy Later?
Yes. When you want to resume sessions, just contact me and we’ll schedule a time.
How Much Does It Cost?
The initial session, usually an hour and a half, costs $120. Follow-up sessions, usually an hour, are $90. I offer reduced costs for bundled payments and have options for reducing the cost.
I accept cash, checks, and credit cards, but not insurance.
When you’re ready to heal your hurts, use your strengths, make your way through the difficult challenges you face, and get to a better place in life, contact me
For secure and confidential online therapy
To stay in touch, connect with me on—
FaceBook:www.facebook.com/MarkWNevilleMDiv
LinkedIn: Mark W Neville
To purchase my book, Re-Visioning Spirit: A Brief Introduction, from Amazon, click here.
To purchase it from Barnes and Noble, click here.
Thursday, August 2, 2018
Life Therapy FAQs, Part 2 of 3
What Specific Problems Does Life Therapy Address?
Life Therapy is broad in scope. Since it attends to, serves, and cares for your life, it addresses all areas of your life. It specifically helps you make your way through the difficult challenges and major turning points in your life, such as—
· Death of a family member or friend
· Divorce or dismissal from work
· Disease: physical and mental
· Distressing personal and professional relationships
How Does Life Therapy Work?
In Life Therapy, we profoundly trust your spirit’s own natural ability to heal, recover, and compel you forward in life. We also recognize the need for assistance when your efforts alone aren’t getting you to a better place.
As your Life Therapist, I work directly with you and refer you to other professionals when you need specialized care for medical, psychological, legal, financial, or other needs.
What is Spirit?
In Life Therapy, “spirit” does not refer to “Spirit”. It does not refer to anything religious, supernatural, or other-worldly. Rather spirit refers to the natural force that makes all living things alive. It’s the difference between being alive or dead.
Your spirit is the agent of your life. Your instincts are your spirit’s drives to keep you alive. Fulfilling your spirit’s life-affirming desires is your purpose in life. Your emotions are your spirit’s responses to stimuli. Your moods are extended emotions. Your spirit’s knowledge is what you know “in your heart.”
Life’s difficult challenges challenge your body, mind, and relationships. They challenge your spirit and life as well. Attending to, serving, and taking good care of your spirit is essential to making your way through life’s hardships and fulfilling your purpose.
Does Life Therapy Respect My Faith?
Absolutely. Just as medical, psychological, and other professional therapists respect the different faiths of their clients, so do I. Life Therapy includes a deep respect for clients of all religious faiths. It includes the same deep respect for clients of nonreligious views.
When you’re ready to heal your hurts, use your strengths, make your way through the difficult challenges you face, and get to a better place in life, contact me at mark.w.neville@gmail.com
To stay in touch, connect with me on—
FaceBook:www.facebook.com/MarkWNevilleMDiv
LinkedIn: Mark W Neville
To purchase my book, Re-Visioning Spirit: A Brief Introduction, from Amazon, click here.
To purchase it from Barnes and Noble, click here.
Wednesday, August 1, 2018
Some FAQs about Life Therapy...
It is neither medical nor psychotherapy. It does not involve diagnosing physical or mental illness. It also differs significantly from coaching, consulting, and mentoring.
How Did Life Therapy Begin?
I created Life Therapy out of my personal life experiences and thirty-plus years of providing therapy for individuals, couples, and families. Ten of my years were with a nationally recognized hospice and palliative care organization where I cared for terminally-ill patients and their families, directed hospice and counseling teams, and provided clinical education.
Why Life Therapy?
I believe your life matters. Sometimes medical and mental health therapies are not effective by themselves in addressing the difficult challenges you face.
I created Life Therapy to help my clients heal, make their way through life’s difficult challenges, and fulfill the purpose of their life.
What is “Life”?
In Life Therapy, life has a very specific meaning.
1. Life is the condition of being alive. Be wondered by the mere fact that you are alive rather than not.
2. Life is the time period between your birth and death. It’s limited. You don’t know how long you have. You have no time to waste.
3. It’s the story you create from birth to death by your actions. It’s an improv. There’s no rehearsal. You only get one opportunity to create your self. Your life-story is your self. It’s absolutely unique. You are a once-in-forever, here-and-gone story that influences the whole world. We all need you to live the best life you can.
4. Life is a name for the animating force that makes you alive. You have life in you. You have spirit in you. It makes you alive. You must take good care of it.
What is “Therapy”?
Therapy also has a specific meaning in Life Therapy. It is not a series of “treatments” you passively receive. Your therapist does not “fix” or heal you. In Life Therapy, we actively collaborate together. We nurture your own natural healing process. Together we -
- Attend to your life—its condition, time-period, story, and spirit. This alone is healing and empowering
- Serve the health and well-being of your life because it is so valuable
- Take care of your life by making necessary changes that help you heal, strengthen, move forward, and fulfill your heart’s life-affirming desires
Does Life Have a Purpose?
I’m convinced it does. Your purpose is what you’re “putting out” into the world as you live your unique life.
Are you “putting out” into the world actions that affirm your life and the lives of others? Or, are you “putting out” actions that deny your life and the lives of others?
You’re doing some of both. What counts is what you’re doing most of the time.
I believe you are alive to give most of your time to “putting out” into other’s lives what affirms both your life and theirs.
I believe you are alive to affirm life as only you can. You affirm life as only you can when you “put out” there what is unique to you. Unique to you are the life-affirming desires of your heart. No one else has them. They are yours alone to realize.
When you know the life-affirming desires of your heart and invest most of your time fulfilling them, you live with purpose. You “put out” actions that affirm both your life and other’s.
When you’re engaged in fulfilling the life-affirming desires of your heart, you have something of inestimable worth to do. You have good reason to be healthy and live a healthy life. You have good reason to make your way through life’s most difficult challenges.
What amazing work you have to do! Your work makes the whole world better.
Life Therapy helps you know the life-affirming desires of your heart and make your way through challenges to fulfilling them.
When you want help healing your hurts, using your strengths, making your way through the difficult challenges you face, and getting to a better place in life, contact me at mark.w.neville@gmail.com
To stay in touch, connect with me on—
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