Do This One Task to Find Yourself

If you want to find yourself, do this one thing: write your life-story.

You don't have to be a great writer. You don’t have to be a good writer. You’re writing for yourself, no one else. You’re writing to find yourself. If you decide to share your story with others later, you have that option.

You don't have to go into great detail. Keep it simple at first. Record the most memorable events in the following five time periods of your life: 

Birth to 12 years old (Childhood)

13 to 21 years old (Adolescence)

21 to 40 years old (Young Adulthood)

40 to 65 years old (Mature Adulthood)

65 years old to Present (Senior Adulthood)

For each of the five time-periods of your life, answer the following questions:

Where did you live?

Who were the main characters in your life?

Who was for you? Who was against you?

What were the defining events? 

Which events affirmed your life? Which events denied your life?

After you write your life-story, reflect on it. How have the defining events affected your life? Do any patterns emerge?  

Now, understand that your “self” (who you are) is not a static psychological construct hidden in your mind that you turn inward to find. Neither is your “self” a “higher” metaphysical being that you embody as a human being.

You are a living human being. You are constantly changing and developing through your life-story.

You are your life-story. You are what has been done to you and what you have done up to this moment in your life-time.

You have improvised your life-story since your birth. You have done your best, given what you knew at the time. So, has everyone else.

You were who you were in each improvised moment of your life because of everything that preceded each moment. You are who you are now because of everything that preceded this moment.

Everything means everything.Everything that happened prior to this moment has influenced your life-story, not just what has been done to you personally and what you personally have done. 

Everything since things began happening has influenced you. 

Everything.

And everything you do influences everything else. Everything.

You are responsible to everything that has been done to you. You are responsible for everything you have done.

Responsible means response-able. You are able. You have ability. You have the power to respond.

You have the ability and power to respond to everything that happens to you.

You have the ability and power to respond for everything you personally do.

You also have the ability and power to initiate your own actions and influence others.

You either act from or abdicate your ability and power to respond.

Next, understand this: you are creating your “self” as you go.

Who are you becoming? Who do you want to become? What are you doing to become who you want to become? 

What are you improvising your way toward?

Finally, know this: the more you find about your life-story the more you find your “self.” Your life-story is your “self.”

Own your story.