What You Actually Do Matters Most of All...

Since your self, reputation, name, and identity are stories you and others tell about you, what you actually do matters.

What you actually do, your actions, matter more than your appearance, beliefs, opinions, education, IQ, career, income, or anything else.

What you do changes things. It affects others. It affects the world, the entire universe. 

Others remember what you do. That’s what they tell stories about. You are the story you and others tell about what you actually do. 

Your Identity, Part 6: Your Possessions and Setting

In addition to your reputation, name, outstanding physical features, or personal characteristics, your identity (how others identify you) might include your outstanding material possessions and setting.

When you drive a vehicle or own a house that stands out to others, they identify you by it. Likewise, if you live in a community, work in a building or for a company, or participate in a social group that stands out to others, they identify you by it.

In some cultures, an individuals’ possessions are viewed as extensions of them. They are part of the whole individual who owns them. When they die, their possessions go with them. They’re either burned or buried with them. 

Do others identify you by one or more possessions? If so, what? Know how others identify you.

Your Identity, Part 5: Your Outstanding Personal Characteristics

Again, your identity is how others identify you. It’s how they distinguish you from everyone else. It includes your reputation; the stories others repeat about you, as well as your name. Others might identify you by your outstanding physical features. Still others might identify you by your outstanding personal characteristics. 

Your outstanding personal characteristics might be physical, mental, spiritual, or social. Outstanding physical characteristics include, but aren’t limited to, beauty, muscularity, being taller or shorter than most, and weighing more or less than most.

Examples of outstanding mental characteristics include being more or less intelligent than average, having excellent or little memory, being quick or slow witted, having excellent or poor problem-solving abilities, or having a vivid or dull imagination. 

Examples of outstanding spiritual characteristics include such things as having good instincts, being sweet or mean spirited, influential, inspiring, high spirited, reclusive, or the one who brightens the room.

Outstanding social characteristics include such things as having many friends, knowing everyone in town, having many social connections, being on everyone’s guest list, being influential, and leading others.

Know your identity. Do others identify you by one or more outstanding personal characteristics? If you so, which ones?

Your Identity, Part 2: Your Reputation

Your reputation is central to your identity. It’s the combination of two things:

1.    The story of your outstanding deeds

2.    Opinions formed about your outstanding deeds

First, your reputation is what others repeat about you. Others talk about you. They tell stories of your outstanding deeds. 

Some stories they tell about you, they witnessed. Others they heard others tell about you. Either way, they do not repeat your entire life-story. They can’t. They only tell the stories that made an impression on them.

They made an impression because they were interesting to them. The deeds a person picks to tell others say as much about the person who picks them as you.

More important than what others say about you is what you actually do and tell others about yourself. You are the author of your reputation. No one knows better than you what you did that was outstanding.

You were there. You did the deeds. You live with the consequences of your deeds.

Secondly, there are opinions of your outstanding deeds. Whether others are witnesses of or gossipers about your outstanding deeds, they form opinions about them. They judge them in either favorable or unfavorable ways. 

Their opinions of your outstanding deeds are their opinions of you. They are your public reputation.

More important than other’s opinions of your deeds, is your opinion.

Always interpret your outstanding deeds in the most favorable light. Be truthful and honest; that is, tell the truth about what you did in a way that honors you.

Give yourself an honorable reputation. Share it with others so they have favorable stories about you to tell.

Your Identify, Part 1: It’s Not What You Think…

Your identity is not some mysterious psychological concept. Neither is it a transcendent, metaphysical Higher Self.

Your identity is not some it-object apart from you. It’s not within or above you to seek and find.

Your identity is everything that distinguishes you from others. It’s a whole with many parts: your reputation, name, outstanding personal features, and outstanding material possessions.

What’s your reputation? Have you made a name for yourself? 

Do others identify you by you outstanding personal features? Do they identify you by what you own?